Uncle Elmer Turns 100

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” N.Mandela

A quote I gleaned this morning from a friend, and a truth that suitably frames my trip home this weekend to celebrate the 100th birthday of my Uncle Elmer. I only found out about my Uncle Elmer some 4 years ago, when I was home in DC for the weekend with my boyfriend at the time. I'd informed my Father that we'd be leaving early on Sunday to head back to NYC. He was furious. How could I miss Uncle Elmer's birthday, how could I be so dismissive? I remember an intense feeling of injustice. I didn't even know who this Man was; my Father had never mentioned an Uncle Elmer until that very moment. Or maybe he had, I just hadn't listened.

I have selfishly harbored these feelings of being unjustly accused, if even passively, since then. Feeling like a bad daughter, a bad great-great-great-niece for not being aware, instinctually, of his existence or the importance of these occasions, I have kept my distance.

This Spring a friend, who was doing research on Juneteenth and the experience of recently freed slaves in 1860s Texas, jumpstarted a memory. Of my Father's tales of our very own family who, newly freed in Virginia, migrated to Texas and somehow acquired 2,000 acres of land, and how that land had oil on it. Of a book published by my Uncle Rick Hyman entitled My Texas Family : An Uncommon Journey to Prosperity, which features oral histories and historical paintings based on some 300 black and white photos from that period that he found tucked away in a box. My Father gave me a copy of that book when it was published in 2000. When I called him to ask about it this May, he told me it still rests on my nightstand, it's been there for years.

I'm going home to get that book this weekend, and to talk to Uncle Elmer, who I've realized is from that very branch of the family, one of the last living members from that chapter in my family's history. I feel silly when I think about the time I've wasted. Thanks to strong genes and uncanny health (Uncle Elmer still lives alone and will be driving himself to his party on Sunday), I still have a chance. And I'm going to take it this time.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Elmer.