In Earnest

I have been freelance producing here in NYC - advertising campaigns, a few independent projects. As I've said before, this is the manifestation of a goal I set for myself a year and a half ago and it's been quite affirming to see it come to fruition. I'm at the point now where I'm figuring out where I'll take it next. And I'm having mixed feelings.

As Producer, I've been responsible for pulling together the resources needed to make others' creative visions a reality. While I've enjoyed it and have learned a great deal, I sometimes feel something is missing. Through talking with a friend about it yesterday I realized that, in producing, I have subconsciously discounted myself as the creator. Been so focused on being the facilitator, the logistics maven. With my freelance production gig coming to an end 2 months earlier than expected, I find myself hesistating to update the resume and line up more production jobs. Though my pocket probably begs to differ, I'm trigger shy. Why?

I'm leaning towards tapping back into the creative me, facilitating my own creativity. That means dance and meditation and yoga. And music. I'd like to find an outlet to further develop a few melodies and lyrics I have written over the past 6 months. Not sure where to start on this, and I'm not sure why I'm so shy about it. But I'm making a pledge to myself to push past that shyness and go after it in earnest.

So, there it is. Like the sole Zana-DO rule demands : I said it, now I have to DO it;)

Have a blessed day.